Bill: "And now to present the award for Best Simpsons Family Member, Grampa Simpson!"
Grampa: "Best Whatsit? Where am I? I want my pills!"
Marty: "Umm, maybe I better just announce the winner... it's Donut Head Homer. Come out here, Homer!"
Donut Head Homer: "Mmmm, award... I'd trade in my soul again if only it were edible..."
Homer smells donuts being cooked in the Lard Lad down the street and turns around toward it
Donut Head Homer: "Ohh, I smell sprinkles."
Troy: "Haha, oh that wacky Homer. And now welcome our next presenter to announce the winner for Best Supporting Character, Channel Ocho's own Bumblebee Man!"
Bumblebee Man: "¡Concede la locura de la ceremonia! ¡Tantas elecciones! ¿Quién hace la victoria el trofeo? ¿Por qué no hay premio para Bumblebee Man? [*coughs*] Ahem. And the winner of this prestigious award is... Duffman!
Duffman enters as Yello's "Oh Yeah" blasts loudly in the background. He approachs with his personal Duff Girl, Princess Kashmir, and grabs the award.
Duffman: "Ohhh yea! Duffman is always a winner! Now let's all go to Moe's to celebrate! A night of partying and Duffs on me. Oh yea!"
Bill: "Ohh yea, indeed! We're down for a party anytime! And now to present the award for Best Variant is one of the more... interesting... variants of the year, Brain Freeze Bart."
Bart: "Whoooaaa, that's good variant. [*nervous chuckle*] Hehe, ohh boy. And the winner is... Donut Head Homer!"
Bart: "Hey, where'd he go?"
Homer is atop Lard Lad, attempting to eat the fake giant donut.
Pimply-Faced Teen: "Umm, sir? Please don't eat our sign, that comes out of my salary."
Troy: "And now to present the Best Child Figure award, two of Springfield's great young citizens, Martin Prince and Nelson Muntz!"
Martin: "Thank you, Mr. McClure. Your welcome was kind and cordial. We are proud to be the presenters of these laurels. And..."
Nelson: "Man, you are such a nerd. Move over dorkus, let me read this. The winner is, umm, [*stares at envelope confused*] umm, Ral-ph?"
Ralph runs up to the stage
Ralph: "I won! I won! I beat the smart kids, I beat the smart kids!"
Back at Main Street, Jebediah Springfield comes to the podium.
Jebediah: "Hello. I have come here, in complete disregard for the laws of time and continuity, to present this award for the Best Interactive Environment. And the winner is... why, it's the very street we're standing on, Main Street!"
The Crazy Old Man approaches to accept the award and dance for money.
Crazy Old Man: "You old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be..."
Back at Town Square, Brad Goodman has arrived.
Brad Goodman: "I am here to teach self-fulfillment and to present the award for Best Celebrity-Voiced Figure. I may not have a lot of 'credentials' or 'training', but I can still handle this award. And the winner is... our own host, Troy McClure!"
Troy: "Thank you, Brad. Ohh, and thanks for killing the All-Star line! Pegwarm any shelves lately, Goodman?!"
Brad Goodman: "Ohh go kiss a fish, McClure."
[*Troy looks down in shame*]
Back in front of Main Street, Professor Frink has arrived.
Prof. Frink: "Ahem, mmmhey. I have come here with my magnificent creation, the Vocaluxulator, an amazing blend of technology and the geekiness and the glaven!!, to present the award for Best Line On An Interactive Environment. The winner of the crazy fish award is, mmmhoy, Homer Simpson on Main Street."
Homer: "To alcohol, the cause of and solution to, all of life's problems."
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