Krusty: ...Anyways... to present 'Best Non-WOS Release' are Officers Lou and Eddie."

Eddie: "We are here to present the best non WOS release of 2003 to videogame 'Simpsons Hit and Run.' And accepting the award is the man with the most hit and runs in Springfield... Otto Mann!"

Otto: "AWESOME, DUDE! I thought you all were calling me out to arrest me for all those hit and runs! But I'm getting an award for it? This town rocks!"

Lou: "Actually, Eddie, the man with the most hit and runs in Springfield is Chief Wiggum."

Otto: "Drag."

Chief Wiggum shows up from the audience

Wiggum: "Lou, why'd you have to air my dirty laundry like that? Well, smart guys... I'm shutting this ceremony down. Rainier Wolfcastle needs to prep for the 'McBain vs. Space Mutants' premiere tomorrow. Everyone leave before I break out the tear gas."

Krusty: "I'm sorry everyone. I guess that's the end of the 2003 Blinky ceremony."

Comic Book Guy emerges from the audience to join Krusty on stage

CBG: "Good sir, I would like to do my court-ordered good deed of the year and allow the Blinkies to continue in my Collector's Lair. Plus it will be more convenient so I can register my review of the ceremony IMMEDIATELY!"

Later at the Collector's Lair...the Blinkies continue!

Krusty: "Welcome back to the Blinkies!... Live at the Collector's Lair! I apologize for the musty air and the odor of shame. And now to present the award for 'Best Environment' are Cooder and Groundskeeper Willie!"

Willie: "So we are here to present the award for 'Best Environment'. La te da! Let's award people for their fancy stores or bars or lairs. Never celebrate those of us who don't have indoor plumbing or a fancy place to rest our heads. They never made a playset of WIllie's SHACK."

Cooder: "Or my ringtoss booth."

Willie: "Or my SHACK!"

Cooder: Riiiight.... And the winner is The Collector's Lair!"

Collector: "I would like to thank myself for I AM the COLLECTOR! I must also thank my evil architect Chris Lauria for designing this immaculate fortress of mine. I will be selling replicas of my Lair on eBay this weekend! Buy It Now for only $2,000,000! And don't touch anything while you are here, thank you very much. It is all mint condition!"

Fat Tony, Louie, Legs swarm the stage and confront the Collector

Fat Tony: "Louie, Legs and I would like to congratulate you on this win. Unfortunately, we must inform you that this lair is in violation of handicapped accessibility codes. I see a second level but I do not see any wheelchair ramps. My associates and I would be happy to provide these ramps... for a large, but reasonable fee. (*snickers*) Please join us in the back where we can hammer out the details."

Krusty: "Now presenting the 'Best Female Award' is Ned, Rod, and Todd Flanders."

Ned: "Boys, we're here to present the 'Best Female Award' since the planners see your dad as an eligible bachelor. Put on your happy faces, boys. You might be meeting what could potentially be a new mommy!"

Rod and Todd: "YAAY!"

Ned: "And the winner is... Princess Kashmir?!? Quick boys, hide your eyes from her evil bosom!"

Kashmir: "Um, thank you? You're sort of cute, I guess. Thanks a lot. Tee hee."

Krusty: "Hey hey! Princess Kashmir, you're invited to my PRIVATE after-party at the Krusty Burger... if you know what I mean. And I think you do. Heh heh heh. Now, it is time for me to present the 'Best Exclusive Figure' of 2003. (*opens envelope*) And the winner is... Duffman!"

Duffman: "Ohhhhh yeaaaaaaah!!!! Double awards for the Duffman! This is the perfect opportunity for me to tell you about NEW Double Duff. The same amount of cold, fresh Duff in double the bottle for double the price. It's double the Duff (Bottle)!"

Krusty: "And now to present the award for 'Best Child Figure' are teachers from Springfield Elementary...Krabappel and Hoover!"

Hoover: "It is our honor to present the award for 'Best Child Figure'. Teaching the children in Springfield is a true pleasure. It is fantastic to see them learn and grow every day. We are honored to award the children for their... wait a minute. Who wrote this crap?"

Krabappel: "Ha! What is this? The SARCASM awards?"

Miss Botz emerges onto the stage

Botz: "What are you two doing?! HONORING the children of Springfield?!? Hoodlums! Losers! Terrors! That's what they are.

Krabappel: "You got that right!"

Botz: "So I tied up those awful Simpson children in their Halloween costumes. I am taking this award since I lost the Best Female Award to that floosie, Princess Kashmir!"

Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl emerge through the stage behind Botz

Botz: "How did you little brats get out of my rope?"

Clobber Girl ties up Botz and hoists her high above the stage as Stretch Dude accepts the award

Stretch Dude: "Thanks! I'm glad to have been released the same year as Database or I might not be here. But I'd like to see him try to overpower Botz or climb a thimble. Peace out!"


- Install the Akbar Font

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