The conclusion of the Third Annual Blinky Awards
Bill: "Presenting the award for the Best Female Figure of 2002, Disco Stu and Mayor Quimby!"
Quimby: "Thank you, ahh, Bill and Marty. It is a great privilege to present this award to the best broad in Springfield!"
Women pass and growl.
Disco Stu: "Disco Stu thinks you should have thought that through!"
Quimby: "Perhaps you are ahh, right. The ahh, feminees are:"
Disco Stu: "And the little fish goes to Marge the Witch!"
Cackling is heard and Witch Marge swoops down on her broom to claim her prize.
Disco Stu: "Would the foxy lady like to teach me to fly?"
Witch Marge: "Fat chance."
Witch Marge turns Disco Stu into a toad, and flies away, cackling.
Bill: "Next up presenting for the final award, Best Overall Male Figure, are Krusty the Klown and..."
Marty: "Now this doesn't seem right, but oh well, Sideshow Bob!"
Sideshow Bob is led into view by Eddie. Krusty hesitantly walks up next to him.
Krusty: "Heh, heh. Funny running into you here. I thought I was presenting with Sideshow Mel."
Sideshow Bob: "Yes, well, I've managed to arrange a change in tonight's lineup. Let's just say that Sideshow Mel, is, well, rather preoccupied right now...mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
We see Sideshow Mel waiting in a long line at the DMV.
Krusty: "Okay, well moving along. Tonight we award what the Simpsons Collector Sector members recognized as the Best Overall Male Figure of 2002."
Sideshow Bob: "And the results are tallied! The winner is Hank Scorpio!"
Scorpio theme music plays in the background. Hank Scorpio walks up to receive his prize, and shakes Sideshow Bob's hand.
Sideshow Bob: "Wow, you are the Hank Scorpio! I've admired your villainy for quite some time!"
Hank Scorpio: "Well you know I really appreciate it. I've heard about you, too."
Sideshow Bob: "Really?! Do go on."
Hank Scorpio: "I've seen you on the news several times for attempted murders."
Krusty: "And he framed me for robbing the Kwik-E-Mart!"
Kent Brockman: (chiming in) "He also fixed the Springfield election to become mayor."
Hank Scorpio: "Wow! You know, I could use a guy like you working for me."
Sideshow Bob: "I'd love to, but as you can see I'm somewhat detained right now."
Hank Scorpio: "Not a problem!"
Hank throws down a smoke grenade. When the smoke clears, he and Bob have already disappeared.
Chief Wiggum: "Alright boys, you know the rules. The second a convicted felon escapes we have to shut down the awards and arrest the participants. Take 'em all away boys."
Chief Wiggum, Eddie, and Lou begin arresting Bill, Marty, Krusty, Kent, and whoever else sticks around.
Bill: "We're almost done, though!"
Marty: "This doesn't seem fair! I don't even think it's legal!"
Chief Wiggum: "What? Really? No, no you're just trying to trick me."
Kent Brockman: (being handcuffed) "Join us tonight at 10 as I discuss the benefits of cigarettes: social activity, stress reliever, prison currency. I'm Kent Brockman."
No radioactive fish were harmed in the making of this feature. Any similarity to actual figures, whether mint-on-card or loose is coincidental. Tax license and dealer prep extra. Some restrictions may apply. Long ago in a galaxy far, far away ...
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