Magazine:

The conclusion of the Third Annual Blinky Awards

BillBill: "Presenting the award for the Best Female Figure of 2002, Disco Stu and Mayor Quimby!"

Disco Stu and Mayor Quimby

QuimbyQuimby: "Thank you, ahh, Bill and Marty. It is a great privilege to present this award to the best broad in Springfield!"

Women pass and growl.

Disco StuDisco Stu: "Disco Stu thinks you should have thought that through!"

QuimbyQuimby: "Perhaps you are ahh, right. The ahh, feminees are:"

  1. Ms. Krabappel
  2. Lurleen Lumpkin
  3. Lunchlady Doris
  4. Sherri and Terri
  5. Witch Marge

Disco StuDisco Stu: "And the little fish goes to Marge the Witch!"

Cackling is heard and Witch Marge swoops down on her broom to claim her prize.

Disco StuDisco Stu: "Would the foxy lady like to teach me to fly?"

Witch MargeWitch Marge: "Fat chance."

Witch Marge turns Disco Stu into a toad, and flies away, cackling.

Best Female Figure

BillBill: "Next up presenting for the final award, Best Overall Male Figure, are Krusty the Klown and..."

MartyMarty: "Now this doesn't seem right, but oh well, Sideshow Bob!"

Sideshow Bob is led into view by Eddie. Krusty hesitantly walks up next to him.

Krusty and Sideshow Bob

KrustyKrusty: "Heh, heh. Funny running into you here. I thought I was presenting with Sideshow Mel."

Sideshow BobSideshow Bob: "Yes, well, I've managed to arrange a change in tonight's lineup. Let's just say that Sideshow Mel, is, well, rather preoccupied right now...mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

We see Sideshow Mel waiting in a long line at the DMV.

Sideshow Mel at the DMV

KrustyKrusty: "Okay, well moving along. Tonight we award what the Simpsons Collector Sector members recognized as the Best Overall Male Figure of 2002."

  1. Disco Stu
  2. Donuthead Homer
  3. Cletus
  4. Hank Scorpio
  5. Dr. Nick Riviera

Sideshow BobSideshow Bob: "And the results are tallied! The winner is Hank Scorpio!"

Scorpio theme music plays in the background. Hank Scorpio walks up to receive his prize, and shakes Sideshow Bob's hand.

Best Male Figure

Sideshow BobSideshow Bob: "Wow, you are the Hank Scorpio! I've admired your villainy for quite some time!"

Hank ScorpioHank Scorpio: "Well you know I really appreciate it. I've heard about you, too."

Sideshow BobSideshow Bob: "Really?! Do go on."

Hank ScorpioHank Scorpio: "I've seen you on the news several times for attempted murders."

KrustyKrusty: "And he framed me for robbing the Kwik-E-Mart!"

Kent BrockmanKent Brockman: (chiming in) "He also fixed the Springfield election to become mayor."

Hank ScorpioHank Scorpio: "Wow! You know, I could use a guy like you working for me."

Sideshow BobSideshow Bob: "I'd love to, but as you can see I'm somewhat detained right now."

Hank ScorpioHank Scorpio: "Not a problem!"

Hank throws down a smoke grenade. When the smoke clears, he and Bob have already disappeared.

A Great Escape

Chief WiggumChief Wiggum: "Alright boys, you know the rules. The second a convicted felon escapes we have to shut down the awards and arrest the participants. Take 'em all away boys."

Chief Wiggum, Eddie, and Lou begin arresting Bill, Marty, Krusty, Kent, and whoever else sticks around.

The End

BillBill: "We're almost done, though!"

MartyMarty: "This doesn't seem fair! I don't even think it's legal!"

Chief WiggumChief Wiggum: "What? Really? No, no you're just trying to trick me."

Kent BrockmanKent Brockman: (being handcuffed) "Join us tonight at 10 as I discuss the benefits of cigarettes: social activity, stress reliever, prison currency. I'm Kent Brockman."

THE END

The Third Annual Blinky Awards

a Simpsons Collector Sector Production
Written by B0b Frankend0rfer and Jmurray3
with CletusTSJY
Directory of Photography: Blueduck37
Special Effects by Blue Askew Studios
Second Unit Director: phalen180
Character Circles Casting: Guy Incognito

No radioactive fish were harmed in the making of this feature. Any similarity to actual figures, whether mint-on-card or loose is coincidental. Tax license and dealer prep extra. Some restrictions may apply. Long ago in a galaxy far, far away ...

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