Magazine:

Part 6 of the Third Annual Blinky Awards

Kent BrockmanKent Brockman: "There are many historical couples. Antony and Cleopatra. Simon and Garfunkel. Siegfried and Roy. But all pale in comparison to our next pair of presenters, Lenny and Carl."

Lenny and Carl

LennyCarlLenny and Carl: (in unison) "Thank you Kent. Hey, cut it out. That's my line!"

CarlCarl: "Can't you read, nimrod? The cue card says Carl reads that part."

LennyLenny: "Oh, now I'm stupid just because I'm white!"

CarlCarl: "No, you're stupid cuz you're you!"

LennyLenny: "You take that back!"

Lenny and Carl get into a fight, and are rolling around on the street. An unseen voice, resembling Kent Brockman's, reads the rest of their lines.

Voice: "The nominees for Best Couple are:"

  1. Colonel Homer and Lurleen Lumpkin
  2. Bowling Marge and Jacques
  3. Bill and Marty
  4. Sherri and Terri
  5. Rod and Todd

Voice: "And the winners are Rod and Todd!"

Rod and Todd approach their Blinky, where Lenny and Carl are still fighting.

Best Couple

ToddTodd: "Why are those men wrestling?"

RodRod: "They should learn to forgive."

Lenny and Carl stop, and regain their composure.

CarlCarl: "Ya know something, the kid's right. We should set aside our many differences."

LennyLenny: "I hear that!"

Lenny and Carl hug.

Rod and ToddRod and Todd: "Yayyy!"

BillBill: "Here to present our next award are local self-styled "bad boy" Bart Simpson and his meek geek of a sidekick, Milhouse Van Houten."

Bart and Milhouse

MilhouseMilhouse: "Sidekick?! I thought Bart was MY sidekick."

BartBart: "Dream on Milhouse, you're lucky you even get sidekick status. And hey, Bill and Marty, we'll talk about that Elephant after the show, ok? I need to get paid for this gig somehow. Folks, we're here tonight to present the award for Best Line Spoken in a World of Springfield Playset in 2002. Over the past year there have been many hilarious, and sometimes surprising lines used to these sets, displaying the words of some of Springfield's most clever residents."

MilhouseMilhouse: "Oooo! I know I'll win this one. Mom's always saying how clever I am. Just the other day she told me that drawing on the walls was a great outlet for my creativity. If only Dad would let me draw on the walls at his house, he says that the pressure from a single crayon would knock down the entire apartment complex."

BartBart: "That's fascinating Milhouse, but you weren't even nominated this year."

MilhouseMilhouse: "What?! There must be some mistake! My hilarious rendition of the "wazzzup!?" guy wasn't nominated? That stuff is comedy gold."

BartBart: "I'm afraid not, man. The nominees for Best Line in a Playset for 2002 are:"

  1. "Everybody get naked! C'mon, don't be stuck up - it's going to be great!" (Apu on Main Street)
  2. "My customers are soberin' up, and they ain't gonna stick around for the ambiANCE." (Moe on Main Street)
  3. "I am not an easy man to work for; while directing "Hats Off to Chanukah," I reduced more than one cast member to tears." (Llewellyn Sinclair on Main Street)
  4. "You shot who in the what, now?" (Jasper on Retirement Castle)
  5. "To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." (Homer on Main Street)

BartBart: "Those are some funny, funny lines."

MilhouseMilhouse: (under his breath) "Nowhere near as funny as me..."

BartBart: "I wonder who the winner is?"

Bart opens envelope.

BartBart: "And the winner is, my dad, Homer Simpson. Come up here to accept your award dad!"

A drunken Homer stumbles onto the stage in his underwear and a top hat with a can of Duff in his hand.

Best Line

HomerHomer: (slurring his speech) "Thank you. Thank you very muschh. First off, I wanna thank Jebus, for making this possible. And I also want to thank Duff Beer, for helping me forget all the other people I'm supposed to thank. Who would have thought that a person with so few brain cells left would be able to win an award for good...um...talking...things...? Just shows what Lisa knows... Stupid Lisa..."

Suddenly, Homer turns and looks at Milhouse.

HomerHomer: "HEY! It's Bart's little four eyed wiener friend! How's it going? Your dad still a dud? Heh, I'm just messing with ya, kiddo. You're alright with me. How 'bout a drink?"

Homer leans down to offer Milhouse a sip from his can of Duff. Milhouse starts to cry and then runs off the stage screaming for his "Mommy."

HomerHomer: "Sheesh, what a weirdo. Now why am I up here anyway? Oh yeah, Bart, I wanted to tell you about how bad it is to start drinking. I don't ever want to catch you doing it. It costs too much money."

BartBart: (sigh) "Can someone please get him off the stage now?"

Bad Boys

Chief Wiggum comes up with Lou and Eddie and they handcuff Homer and drag him off the stage while Bart follows.

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