Welcome to the Third Annual Blinky Awards!
The Comic Book Guy is sitting alone at his counter in the Android's Dungeon watching the Blinky Awards on a portable TV. Suddenly, he grunts and his posture tightens. He starts to gasp for breath, and grips his chest.
Comic Book Guy: "Great Kirby's Ghost! A heart attack! AGAIN?!"
He collapses on the floor.
Soon Comic Book Guy awakens to the smell of sulfur and fire. He looks around to see that he is in Hell. Stalagmites and boiling seas of lava surround it. Screams of horror can be heard in the background.
Comic Book Guy: (Unimpressed) "Pfft. What a cliche."
A swirl of flames appears before him, slowly changing into the form of a human. In a puff of smoke the flames disappear and we see Devil Flanders.
Devil Flanders: "Wel-didily-elcome to your eternal darn-didily-doodily-damnation, condemned-areeno!"
Comic Book Guy: "Ned Flanders!? I should have seen that coming. Tell me, why have I been sent here?"
Devil Flanders: "Comic Book Guy, you have been sentenced to Heck for crimes against humanity."
Comic Book Guy: "You don't mean living out my Planet Risa fantasies with Skinner's elderly mother do you?"
Devil Flanders: (Shudders) "No! Grotesque as that may be, I speak of something much worse. COMIC BOOK GUY, you are here for scalping action figures and selling them at a markup of 500%!"
Comic Book Guy: "Give me a break. That's worthy of Hellfire? It's not my fault. Blame the people stupid enough to pay my prices."
Devil Flanders growls with anger and transforms into a hideous, 20-foot tall demonic beast.
Devil Flanders: "DARE YOU MOCK MY JUDGMENT!?! I DICTATE WHAT'S WORTHY OF DAMNATION OR NOT (well, God and I), AND NOW YOU MUST SUFFER AN ETERNITY OF APPROPRIATELY IRONIC AND HILARIOUS PUNISHMENTS!!!"
Comic Book Guy looks disinterested and yawns. A depressed look falls over Devil Flanders' face and he transform back to normal.
Devil Flanders: "Why aren't you frightened? Your pants should be soaking wet by now."
Comic Book Guy: "Oh please, I saw the Balrog in 'Lord of the Rings' last year. I'm not scared."
Devil Flanders: "Well then, I guess I'll have to devise a torture that will convince you of my powers. You are hereby sentenced to watch the 'Star Wars Holiday Special' back to back with the 'Fantastic Four' over and over again! BWAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA!-diddily"
Comic Book Guy: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
- Install the Akbar Font
Your continued use of this site is considered an agreement with our current privacy and usage policies.
Copyright © 2001-2009, Simpsons Collector Sector. All rights reserved. "The Simpsons" is a registered trademark of 20th Century Fox Film Corp. and "World of Springfield" is a registered trademark of Playmates Toys -- this website is in no way affiliated with either company or any other company whose products or services are represented here.