"Dad, thanks to television, I can't remember what happened eight minutes ago." [Homer's Barbershop Quartet]

"*SCREAM*"

"*LAUGH* Oh, they're gonna eat this up at Show 'N Tell." [Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song]

"I guess that's it, I just can't be educated." [Whacking Day]

"Oh, no! P.E. signup day!" [Homer vs. Patty & Selma]

"Won't it be great to cast off the shackles of Springfield Elementary?" [Bart Gets Famous]

"My friendship, you know you want it." [Summer of 4 Ft. 2]

"*LAUGH*"

"Aye carumba!"

"Boy, show business is kinda cruel, isn't it?" [The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show]

"Gee, sorry for being born." [Eight Misbehavin']

"I didn't do it." [Bart Gets Famous]

"I coulda been President, but I'm too real." [Bart to the Future]

"Wet Cement! Is there any sweeter sign? Well, maybe High Voltage." [Lemon of Troy]

"When you give that lecture, you're boring Springfield." [Lemon of Troy]

"Woo! Springfield rocks!" [A Tale of Two Springfields]

"Awww, all these new superheroes suck. None of them can hold a candle to Radioactive Man." [Radioactive Man]

"Put it all on my credit card, my good man." [The Canine Mutiny]

"Watch out, Radioactive Man!" [Radioactive Man]

"You're a pin-monkey? Wow!" [And Maggie Makes Three]

"All I am is a catch-phrase." [Bart Gets Famous]

"Aww, I'm out of money." [Boy Scoutz N the Hood]

"Buy me Bonestorm or go to hell!" [Marge Be Not Proud]

"Hey how come you're not playin' Bonestorm?" [Marge Be Not Proud]

"Hit the change of venue button, NOW!" [New Kid on the Block]

"It's the coolest video game, ever." [Marge Be Not Proud]

"Keep cool, Simpson. Be in the game, but not OF the game." [Boy Scoutz N the Hood]

"Now how're we supposed to kill the rest of the afternoon?" [Boy Scoutz N the Hood]

"Say, cool dude, can I play too?" [Marge Be Not Proud]

"Whooo-oah"

"You know, this is wearin' a bit thin." [Boy Scoutz N the Hood]

"Dear Santa, I promise not to do anything bad between now and when I wake up." [Miracle on Evergreen Terrace]

"It's crap-tacular." [Miracle on Evergreen Terrace]

"The Inferno-buster 3000!" [Miracle on Evergreen Terrace]

"There's only one fat guy that brings us presents." [Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire]

"So, you say this product is known as fudge?" [Lisa Gets an "A"]

"Wow, little meatloaf men!" [Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington]

"After breakfast, me and Milhouse are goin' down to the ravine." [Bart Gets an Elephant]

"Bad news, dad - we're out of food." [King-Size Homer]

"Hot stuff, comin' through!" [Bart Sells His Soul]

"The grease traps in this kitchen have never been emptied." [Lard of the Dance]

"Uhh, I think I got your lunch." [The PTA Disbands]

"Dad has been in jail six times!" [This Little Wiggy]

"DNA, positive ID - those won't hold up in any court!" [Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)]

"Here she is, the big house!" [This Little Wiggy]

"You're father was a loser, and his father. It's genetic, man." [Homer Loves Flanders]

"I'm goin' down to Moe's for a couple of beers." [Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment]

"You know, this is wearin' a bit thin." [Boy Scoutz N the Hood]

"Mr. Burns' house has everything." [Burns' Heir]

"Dad, you look totally classy! You could be Abe Lincoln's father's boss!" [My Sister, My Sitter]

"Hey Dad, how come you're wearin' a tuxedo?" [My Sister, My Sitter]

"Mom, you are lookin' fab-u-lous!"

"I'm goin' down to Moe's for a couple of beers." [Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment]

"I ain't gonna get out of the fourth grade alive." [Bart the General]

"I am gonna have to teach you a lesson." [Bart the General]

"I can't squeal, it would violate the code of the schoolyard." [Bart the General]

"I promise you victory, I promise you good times!" [Bart the General]

"There's this bully at school who keeps beating me up." [Bart the General]

"We are happy, we are merry! We got a rhyming dictionary! (singing)" [Bart the General]

"Battle stations!" [Bart the General]

"Grampa, I think this guy's a little nuts." [Bart the General]

"Uh, Mr. Herman, did you lose your arm in THE WAR?" [Bart the General]

"I know that's funny, but I'm just not laughing." [Bart Sells His Soul]

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a lardo on workman's comp." [King-Size Homer]